The most disconcerting thing about moving far, far away is something that really only hit me about 20 minutes ago. I’m not going to have anyone to relate to as a female all the way out there until I find someone who has my weird sense of humor and who doesn’t have a problem fielding my random texts about food, bodily functions and the ongoing battle with my thighs. I don’t know what I’m going to do without my girls to turn to in the middle of dinner and be able to say without restraint, “My butt’s sweating.”
There are a couple other things, too.
1. Being a complete secret-jerk out in public when people walk by.
2. Not having to hold back anything, and trusting that you ladies feel the same way around me. I’m going to miss being able to admit out loud, “I’m totally crop-dusting right now.” Now I just have to do it with a straight face. Try it. It’s the worst.
3. You girls are always on my level, and are always down to get drunk and tell each other, “I love you guys.” When am I going to get to do that again? Not for a long, long time.
4. I’ll never just randomly run into you ladies and have my whole day brightened up again. I’m going to have to look at my phone background when I’m having a bad day and need an unexpected surprise. You seriously have no idea how excited I was every time I saw you just in time to have dinner together.
5. I used to just have to wait until ladies nights to vent. Now, I have to try to put it all in a text. Do you know how hard that is? Especially when half of our emotions are expressed through stupid looks to each other.
6. Our super-cool support system will now be long distance, so I can’t just look at you and be like, “Your boobs look great today, I’m jealous.”
7. But more than anything, I’m going to miss our honesty policy. Without you, my ass would have hung out of every skirt, and it most definitely would have been six sizes bigger than it currently is.
Ladies, you’ve been everything a weirdo could want in a wolf pack. I’m honored to have been associated with you, and will miss you so incredibly much. Thank you for everything, and for only judging me a little bit.