… I’m boring

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We all have crazy stories from when we were young, before we knew better and really had to hunker down to become responsible, hard working people who contribute to society.

Except I don’t.

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Freshman year of college was great, but aside from that time I discovered I’d walked back to my dorm room in someone else’s shoes (albeit drunk), and never found out what happened to my own, I wrapped up my wild and crazy period pretty quick.

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At 24, I didn’t expect to have accomplished basically everything I’d set out to in my career, have a person ready to marry me, have two dogs, a nice apartment, (a pretty rockin’ bod if I do say so myself), a decent wardrobe… and absolutely no life.

The most exciting thing I did this week was change the color scheme in my bathroom.

Most people my age are still figuring out what their career should be, or are trying to kick it off. Most of the people I talk to were trying to get their life on track at my age.

I’m basically Doogie Howser, but less exciting.


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So, sure, it’s like, “Boohoo, ya jerk. That’s a pretty nice life.” But it’s also like, “I gotta let my freak flag fly. Just let me live.”

This would be easy if my fiance weren’t five years older than me and had already lived his life, and if my friends weren’t wrapping up that chapter of their lives/busy living them.

So what do I do? Do I go to the bar by myself and try to stir up trouble? Nope, because rape and abduction are real things. Do I send out a Facebook post asking for drug dealer recommendations? No, because jail is a thing, too.

I could go on vacation… har har, yeah, right. I’m a journalist, and make journalist money.

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I only have a few good years before my metabolism completely craps out on me and I have no choice but to settle down and be a married bore (no offense, fiance and married people). But I don’t know how to get my fun train on the road without doing something illegal/outside of my pay grade.

Yes, it’s a #firstworldproblem, and I should be happy. But… shut up and get your life together.