Maybe it’s the nostalgia of not going back to college this year, or maybe it’s the fact that I can’t get my hair to do what I want anymore, but in either case, I’ve been thinking about things I’d like to teach my future (way future) daughter, in hopes that she’ll try to make her life as simple and happy as that of Cory Matthews in “Boy Meets World.”
1. Do NOT cut your own hair. It’s going to be tempting. You’re going to be reading your “Tiger Beat” and see these bangs that look so simple, but then BAM– I’m taking you to the hairdresser to get you a bowl cut when all you had to do was ask the nice lady with the degree to give you those fancy bangs in the first place. Just wait.
2. You’re going to make plenty of compromises in your lifetime, you should not be one of them. Like what you want to like, wear what you want to wear (except for that mentioned in upcoming advise) and be who you want to be. The people who matter will like you no matter what. And not just your mom and dad, but the weird people you make friends with, too.
3. Cleavage is never the answer to being attractive. Cardigans are cute, especially when they cover up everything below the neck. I bet you’ll pull off a turtle neck wonderfully. But seriously, the buttheads who tell you you’re hot because your boobs are out, are telling that to plenty of other girls with their boobs out, and they’re going to be asking their parents for date money until they’re 40.
4. Sometimes, the people who make you feel bad about who you are, aren’t everything they make you think they are. Do you get what I’m saying? Those people who have it all together when you’re younger and are always showing off the better things they have, but can’t decide what they want to do with their lives and never leave home? Don’t you worry about them. You’re only a thought and you’re doing more with your life than those kids.
5. There are many things in life you have to wait for, but don’t wait for everything to happen to you. You have to wait for your father to let you date (when you’re 30), you have to wait for your prom and you have to wait for your college acceptance letter. You should never wait for the right time to do the things that only you can decide to do. Don’t ever wait to introduce yourself, to better educate yourself, to go outside your comfort zone and see if you succeed. Don’t ever be afraid to try, or to do something when you’re ready just because the rest of the world isn’t. I’m going to cry either way.
6. You will not date a boy when you’re in high school. You’re going to hate me for this, but boys that age are gross. And you won’t see that until after college. But really, they’re disgusting.
7. Finally (for now), you’re allowed to hate me. You can hate me all you want, and I’ll always listen, and tell you why you’re not allowed, you’re wrong and you’re not old enough. But I’ll always listen beforehand. You’re a person, not a plant.