Things I’ve learned since becoming a real person


I’ve been a full-time, working resident of a tiny Oregon beach town for a little over a week now and there are some glaring side effects of moving across the country and starting a job that I noticed/have to handle more maturely.

1. Here, the speed limit is the absolute limit. In Pennsylvania, going five or ten over the speed limit is usually safe. But people here are terrified of reaching the speed limit, which makes for an interesting commute in the morning. And guess what. It’s only going to get SLOWER once the tourists begin arriving in the summer.


2. There is never enough money, but even more so when you just carted your life across the country and your first paycheck isn’t coming for a month. Dinner around here is turning into a Donner party situation. My boyfriend’s mother is sending us boxes of elbow macaroni. Boxes. Plural. She’s shipping, literally, oodles of noodles 2,600 miles to feed us.


3. The three-hour time difference has seriously impaired my partying abilities. One glass of wine and an episode of “Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry?” and I’m out by 8:30.


4. Finals are absolutely nothing compared to a newspaper deadline. Finals never had me running room to room and then back to the original room because my boss is trying to intercom me in every single room of the building just as I leave it. Finals never put me in charge of proof-reading, editing, proof-reading and editing again and then sending to print 30 pages that a county will rely on for their week’s news. Also, I never really cared about my finals grades as much as I cared about the suggestions my boss sends me the day after we print and half of them are things I need to do differently. Finals never made me want to crawl under a rock and die.


You’d think with all this that I’m unhappy, but this is what I’ve been waiting for all my life. I like that I’m doing what I always wanted and that it’s driving me crazy. I like that I live in a town that’s forcing me to dial back my road rage. I love that I’m exhausted every night because that means I’m doing something worth while. But the best part of all of it is that I get to do all of this with someone who’s going through the same thing, and I love.

I just have to remember that the next time I’m stuck behind a school bus going 20 in a 45.



My Feelings Expressed Through Childish Gambino Quotes


1. On my Comm Law final.


2. On all my other finals.


3. On iced coffee.


4. On having a job right out of college, and really everything else.


5. To the people I wave to, but they don’t see me.


6. On graduating in three days.


7. On my choice of outfits during finals week.


8. On doing well at my new job in two weeks.


9. On trying to stay out late, but having to go home at midnight because I’m tired.



10. To all my fellow graduates on their future endeavors.


…I really should have used the 20 minutes it took to make this post to study instead.

I’m Going to Miss My Posse




The most disconcerting thing about moving far, far away is something that really only hit me about 20 minutes ago. I’m not going to have anyone to relate to as a female all the way out there until I find someone who has my weird sense of humor and who doesn’t have a problem fielding my random texts about food, bodily functions and the ongoing battle with my thighs. I don’t know what I’m going to do without my girls to turn to in the middle of dinner and be able to say without restraint, “My butt’s sweating.”

There are a couple other things, too.

1. Being a complete secret-jerk out in public when people walk by.


2. Not having to hold back anything, and trusting that you ladies feel the same way around me. I’m going to miss being able to admit out loud, “I’m totally crop-dusting right now.” Now I just have to do it with a straight face. Try it. It’s the worst.


3. You girls are always on my level, and are always down to get drunk and tell each other, “I love you guys.” When am I going to get to do that again? Not for a long, long time.


4. I’ll never just randomly run into you ladies and have my whole day brightened up again. I’m going to have to look at my phone background when I’m having a bad day and need an unexpected surprise. You seriously have no idea how excited I was every time I saw you just in time to have dinner together.


5. I used to just have to wait until ladies nights to vent. Now, I have to try to put it all in a text. Do you know how hard that is? Especially when half of our emotions are expressed through stupid looks to each other.


6. Our super-cool support system will now be long distance, so I can’t just look at you and be like, “Your boobs look great today, I’m jealous.”



7. But more than anything, I’m going to miss our honesty policy. Without you, my ass would have hung out of every skirt, and it most definitely would have been six sizes bigger than it currently is.


Ladies, you’ve been everything a weirdo could want in a wolf pack. I’m honored to have been associated with you, and will miss you so incredibly much. Thank you for everything, and for only judging me a little bit.